1. Amor has finally locked the doors as per the very sad [Closing Announcement]. You should still be able to read threads and conversations (just in case you are late to getting things saved) up until AUGUST 1st. All subscriptions have also been cancelled so no one is donation billed for a dead site!

BULLETIN Don't Winky Face At Strangers - A PSA about being unintentially creepy as fuck!

Discussion in 'Proclamations' started by Divinatas, Dec 21, 2017.

  1. Hello friends! 8D

    As you know, hot lovin' is the top subject for roleplays here on Amor. That's why we started this site, we wanted to write smut at our leisure.

    Of course, the problem with having a pure and true love of writing smut is that some people-- whom we're not going to name names but if you use winky faces when you flirt, it's totally you-- take something as simple as "I like to write about sex" and turn it in to "Hey, I want to have sex with you and I'm totally tweaking my nether lobster to our hot jizzsplosion".

    That's not this roleplay community, frans. This is a place for writers, not a place for masturbation. If you came here looking for people to be your anonymous sexual partner, you have dropped in to the wrong forum. We want to have fun writing erotic stories and giggle about butts like a bunch of dorky teenagers and to do it without feeling like we, the person behind the screen, is getting pulled in to some kind of clandestine sex relationship with a stranger on the internet.

    WITH THAT SAID, I know a lot of people come from other types of erotic roleplay communities where hitting on each other and being oh so naughty is the norm, and they do not realize that they sound super creepy when they approach a potential partner. So here is a list of things you should avoid doing!

    Don't use ;) or other winky faces and flirt with someone you just met, it's like the international symbol of I WANT TO FUCK YOU.
    Does that sound crazy? It does. But I swear to god every single one of you weirdos do a damn winky face. It's the internet equivalent of going to a bar and, well, winking at someone when your flirt. I know you think it's making you seem friendly and harmless, but omg it is not. It's weird, stoppit. Stoppit in your entire life. You are not Matthew McConaughey.

    Don't start your approach by talking about how HOT AND HORNY someone's post/picture/profile/anything made you feel.
    Look, we know the writers here are sexy as fuck. These people are talented. But if you come on aggressively thirsty to someone you just met, that's creepy as hell. Wait until you get to know people better before you break out the horny comments. A lot of people really do not appreciate getting hit on. You need to know your partner and their comfort level.

    Don't tell a stranger about your junk and what you're doing with it.
    Same as above. C'mon now. Get to know people before you whip your junk out. You can't do that shit in public without getting arrested, you can't do that here either.

    Don't ask strangers for personal information about their real life or their appearance.
    Many people are very private about their personal lives, and it has nothing to do with their ability to write. Save those kind of questions for when you're more familiar with each other, and it doesn't feel like you're fishing for info about what you're masturbating too.

    HOT TIP: HEY LADIES, YOU CAN BE JUST AS FUCKING CREEPY AS ANY DUDE.
    That's right girls, all of these same things apply to you. If you're winky facing at a stranger dude and flirting, and he gives NO THANKS, you do NOT come back at him with insults and rudeness because he shot you down. No means no. Don't be asking dudes for hot pictures of their wieners, or trying to lure them on voice chats so you can flirt and show off your boobs.

    As you can see, the key note here is strangers. A lot of us have fun being inappropriate, cracking dirty jokes, and play flirting etc. But it is done with people we know are okay with this. Members are respectful of the comfort level of their fellow citizens and they make sure to get consent and that their partners and new friends are actually OKAY with these kinds of interactions.


    Remember, just because this is a site that loves it's spicy sausage wraps, doesn't mean you can treat the members here like a free for all prostitute buffet. Like in real life, you have to use social etiquette and actually find out if that person you're contacting actually wants that kind of interaction. Consent is #1!

    You may now return to writing things that give each other the vapors. (winkyface)
     
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  2. You can totally throw winks at me though guys, by throw I mean figure out how to throw digital text and hit me dead square in the face. Not flirting.
     
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  3. I have a really good idea about why this was made now. Saw a couple... more blatant examples lately.
     
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  4. Unintentionally*
     
  5. Respect, common sense, and common courtesy ... not that hard, actually.

    It's a shame @Divinatas needs to take the time out of her busy schedule and lay this out. Thank you for making AMOR less creepy.
     
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  6. my Ar-Pees bring all da boys to the threads
    and I'm like
    it's better than winks
    damn right it's better than winks
    I can teach you,
    but I gotta reply
     
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  7. Thank you. I usually put up some serious boundaries with my partners and ensure that they are comfortable in the roleplay. Just because we write erotica doesn't mean we're here to get our freak on.
     
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  8. >:[ u suk

    Yes. I can't eat deviled eggs in my owl hollow when people are sticking their fingers in to things. (◉,◉) Let me eat my deviled eggs in peace.
     
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  9. In all fairness, those things --Respect, common sense, courtesy-- are in short supply on a medium that's only consequence is "You're not allowed to frequent here anymore if you act like a weirdo and freak people out".

    The short version of why some guys, and some girls, act like weirdos on sites like this is probably a lack of affection, closeness or sexual gratification in reality, and in these cases the easiest thing they can do is to basically act like a weirdo. Any reaction, negative or otherwise, is at least a reaction, and the chances of finding someone like minded, while small, is worth it to them. Kind of the idea behind those dudes on Omegle vid chat (Okay, on Omegle in general actually) who do that kinda thing.

    I'mma just coin it now, but it's a kind of an "Invisibility Principle" of sorts. A lot of guys don't receive any attention at all IRL so even negative attention is better than being invisible. Some girls get this too, and it's no less horrible to experience for them than it is guys.

    It's like the covert version of flashers back in the day, except it's more socially acceptable (Acceptable being a bit of a tentative thing obviously), because the 'victim' of such an approach can simply go "GTFO" and block that shit.

    That being said, there's no real site on the internet, that I'm aware of, for people to find a likeminded partner for such. Most of the sites that do cater to at least some of these people tend to be sausage fests, or inundated with bots and cam whores galore. I'd say "Don't ask how I know that" buuuuut I'm sure you can already guess.

    *Sigh* All of this being said, and while I do sympathize, it's not a good way to go about finding partners one way or the other. For anyone who does this, and reads this, which is unlikely; Please calm down a little.

    Speakin' as a guy who, at one time, acted like a complete clown (Oddly, I've only ever sent solicited dick pics, so there's that at least) and still does sometimes, you're only going to alienate people who you might actually enjoy speaking to by doing this.

    @Divinitas I know honey, but I do it well, and that's what counts.
     
    #9 Absinthresher, Dec 21, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
  10. Also an extra special plea from me:

    There's a lot of people for whom roleplaying is ok, but out of character impropriety is absolutely not ok. Those in happy (more or less happy?) relationships. Some of who really love reading their smut to their sig O's.

    But. We can get BANNED from sites. Not by the admins. By others. For even the spectre of ooc impropriety. Even as a joke. It has happened.

    So be careful yall.
     
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  11. Don't offer dick pics, either. Always a good general rule of thumb for life. All this winking talk makes me think of some George Costanza winking.

    [​IMG]

    Don't be like George.
     
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  12. Oh man, I FORGOT all about this! I have seen so many people (even myself) get in trouble with their spouses because of reading over shoulders or popping in at the exact wrong moment. It's one thing when they know you're writing and they can clearly see it's the story, but a whole different problem when a private message is saying some pretty salacious things to and about the player directly. O_O Even when it wasn't your fault, when your person gets upset it's hard to explain sometimes.
     
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  13. I know I have shot down many a potential partner bc of creep vibes. Don't do it, people!
     
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  14. This might be the funniest single sentence I’ve ever read. How does your brain produce such phrases? XD

    Also I kinda want a spicy sausage wrap, sounds delicious...
     
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  15. A follow-up.

    This PSA serves as a warning to take responsibility for obviously questionable behavior. There's a follow-up responsibility: that of members not taking such instances quietly.

    If these things happen, speak up. If you get an argument, don't feel intimidated — feel inspired. Know they've crossed a line and threaten to report them. Not doing so means they might very well move onto someone unsuspecting. When in doubt, contact the awesome staff — that's one reason why they are here.

    AMOR becomes creep-free when everyone feel empowered and involved.
     
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  16. ;)
     
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  17. [​IMG]
     
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  18. [​IMG]
     
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  19. Late but I want to add that if you're chatting with people you don't already know or have an established set of boundaries with using affectionate actions on them is also very creepy. Like *pets [other user who is a stranger]* or *spanks [other user who is a stranger]* - just as you (hopefully) wouldn't do that in real life, don't do it in chat, it's not a good look.
     
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  20. What is this prejudices against winky faces! Winky faces are amazing! I love winky faces! WInKy FaCeS RuLe tHe WUrlD!!! *wink wink* ;)

    Ye but ye... tots agree with this post. So many weird fuckers out there hammering their dough on virtual accounts. SEE HOW WEIRD THAT IS!
     
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