1. Amor has finally locked the doors as per the very sad [Closing Announcement]. You should still be able to read threads and conversations (just in case you are late to getting things saved) up until AUGUST 1st. All subscriptions have also been cancelled so no one is donation billed for a dead site!

BULLETIN Notes about Consent, Kink Shaming, and Reporting!

Discussion in 'Proclamations' started by Divinatas, May 18, 2017.

  1. Hello lovlies! <3 For a lot of people Amor is a very DIFFERENT kind of adult roleplay site. Lots of people are brand new to writing erotica and how to interact with potential new partners. Others are well seasoned from smut sites where sex is ingrained to all aspects of the site. Amor is a new experience for ALL of us, so every week we're learning something new about running an adult site!

    Today we're gonna talk about some issues that everyone should be aware about and work to avoid!

    Consent: It goes beyond just roleplay interests.
    We're all here to roleplay, and though Amor IS designed with erotica in mind, that doesn't mean that everyone wants to write about sex. It doesn't mean that all of the members enjoy flirting and touching each others butts. Some people might be really uncomfortable with certain topics. It is very important that you respect the space and boundaries of others.

    If you just met someone in real life, you wouldn't grab their ass. That is also true on the internet. Make sure you get to know a person before you start getting personal.

    If someone tells you they're not comfortable with flirting, discussing or roleplaying a certain topic - don't do it with that person or try to cajole or coax them in to doing it anyway.

    Tag your threads, fill out your resume, make sure people know what is going to be IN your threads. This way they get to decide if that is something they want to read.

    Make sure you read what is on THEIR profile before you proposition them for roleplay. If you see they have catgirls on their "Nono List", you shouldn't be asking them to do catgirl roleplay with you.

    Also Remember: YOU are responsible for giving your Consent. If you don't like someone flirting with you or the kind of comments they make towards you - TELL THEM TO STOP. They're not going to know it bothers you unless you SAY SOMETHING. "It's not that bad, I'll just deal with it" is not only bad for you, but it's teaching people that kind of behavior is okay to continue. Most people will immediately apologize if they're making you uncomfortable - you do not need to worry about hurting feelings.

    Kink Shaming is not cool. To have freedom of expression and an accepting community, you have to be respectful of different interests.
    If you want people to respect you, your feelings, and your space - you must also respect THEIRS. Kinks come in a wide variety of shapes and interests. Some of them are really weird, some are really gross, some are scary, some are ridiculous. You are definitely NOT going to like all of the wild things people want to roleplay. But you still have to be respectful. It's very easy to tell people why you don't like something without making that other person feel like trash just because they do like it.

    You do not call someone a rapist just because they like exploring BDSM. You do not call someone a pedophile because they're exploring teacher & student scenarios. You don't call someone a abomination to god just because they roleplay gay dude buttsex.

    Like, I don't enjoy or understand people wanting to bang horses wearing diapers, but as long as it's not against the site rules and that horse isn't a kid, you bang that diaper wearing horse. You do you, boo.

    With this in mind, some topics are triggering for people. Be careful of bringing up those "high risk" kinks in public spaces outside of the roleplay sections. Rape, incest, giant age gaps, abuse, etc, many people have had bad real life experiences with these sorts of things and may flip out if the topic comes up and they were not prepared. You are totally allowed to discuss these topics anywhere, but do it responsibly and respectfully! Use tags, warnings, and spoilers where applicable. If the topics are in a live public space like a chat and someone gets upset, the polite thing to do is switch topics.

    "This person is making me feel a little uncomfortable, but I don't know if it's worth reporting."

    Your feelings matter. Tell THEM they are making you uncomfortable. Again, a person who respects your feelings and space will stop. Someone who doesn't, will gaslight it and make excuses. If they don't respect your space - report them.

    Are you always going to be right? No. Sometimes a situation really is something innocent and people get worked up or paranoid. But that doesn't mean you should keep it quiet and silently suffer. There are a LOT of options to help resolve a situation. It is the job of Amor's staff to dig deeper and help you find the right thing to do. If there's just an innocent mistake, we can help you get back on track. No one is going to get in trouble unless something bad is actually happening. If it turns out that person is a raging douchenozzle. you will have helped protect other members from being in the same situation.

    "But the staff probably gets tons of silly useless reports to sift through, I don't want to add to it!"

    It's their JOB. A few silly reports is WORTH sifting through in order to help keep everyone here nice and safe. Don't worry! Not only are you helping us keep an eye on things, but you are also helping to train newbie staffers as we go through the investigative motions to explain what is and isn't an issue. :D It's all good.


    Consent. Make sure you respect it. Make sure you mean it when you give it.

    Kink shaming. Don't do it. We are ALL responsible for making Amor feel like a safe place to explore.

    Report. When in doubt, report it anyway. It's our job to resolve issues.
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    NAH JK, consent is more valuable than all of King Midas's silver. Good PSA, and party on dudes.

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